Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they are not out to get you...

I confess to having let my internet-sex correspondence lapse. Partially because of a lack of time and partially because of a lack of interest. There is also an unsettling creepiness about picking up online. It seems so mercenary, there is such a lack of personality involved. At least in a bar you can feign a personal interest in me. Which, given that I don't have overly high standards, is more than enough attention.

In an unsettling turn of events, I think the husband may be on to me. Mr Ashley Madison # 3 is sending me emails that are eerily familiar. It is cheesy like the husband, it has appalling spelling like the husband, and there is just something there. When I read them and the things he is saying and the questions he is asking - it is exactly what the husband would say to draw me out. I checked the profile and he also identifies as the same height and weight - although the age is different. I wonder if I am being snaked?

I have no answers...

I am now corresponding with four random men off of Ashley Madison...and here is the kicker: I don't think I have any interest in meeting any of them for coffee or anything else.
Now, you might think that a married woman not wanting to meet Internet-predators for drinkies might not be the oddest thing that you have ever heard, but I am finding the whole situation a bit perplexing.

Has the urge passed? Was the one experience of infidelity like an immunization, now I do not need another shot for ten years? Was it enough to give myself permission?

On any level: I think it is distinctly bizarre that not wanting to be unfaithful is causing a level of introspection that infidelity did not.