The beginning?

So, where to begin? The background, as is always the case, is huge and undramatic. Normal and profoundly unsatisfying life. Three beautiful children and a husband who pays the bills and ignores everything and anything I say to him. 10 years of marriage during which I guarantee my opinion has never mattered - I try and try to tell him what I need from the relationship, he agrees and sees my side of EVERYTHING, and yet, there are no changes. I am talking to the wall. He will not budge - and it is not out of any kind of unkindness, or any lack of love - he is who he is: the question of course, is can I live with it?
Sometimes you wonder: is this really my life? Where is the optimistic, fun loving woman I used to be? How can I be so utterly trapped.
So, in the midst of a ridiculously self-indulgent birthday crisis on the occasion of an early 30s birthday party (the exact year of which shall remain a mystery) - I met an adorable young man in a bar. He picked me up with friendly comment and a shared laugh. He invited my friends and I back to his table, he talked to me and he kissed me and propostioned me in the hottest way possible. I did not think it was possible to be that turned on. Seriously. Not in years.
I did not go home with him that night but instead commenced a IMing relationship with him. Dirty talk. Friendly talk. Utter Escapism.
And then we met. In his apartment. For an evening of the kind of sex that you remember. The kind of sex where you each have a sheen of sweat. Fantastic. (Fucktastic?)
He tastes good. He is good in bed. AND I have no guilt. None. I have realized that I have the one life and I refuse to limit it within other people's moral structures and I refuse also to be unhappy anymore. If my life as it stands does not make me happy then I will do what it takes to create happiness for myself.